something new // interior design

so there is something i haven't really talked about much. i think mostly because i'm scared. but i decided i'm scared no more. and yes....another super long post. i'll work on not doing these all the time but this is for journaling sake!

some background: when i started college i knew just what i wanted to do. i wanted to be a high school math teacher. well that lasted about a year and i knew i wanted a change. i really wanted to do interior design or event planning but after talking to some people and my parents i decided i should get a degree that i could do more with to start with. so political science it was. 

honestly i loved political science. it was a great major for me. i did have thoughts of going to law school or getting a master program but i think i pushed those thoughts because i thought it's what i was supposed to want with going into political science. 

after i graduated i struggled to figure out my life. should i get a job? or should i pursue an internship in event planning or interior design. at that time i decided to focus on event planning. but after a lot of thinking and praying i decided it was best to get a job. 

well along came my dream job which in just under a year would turn into an event planning job. looks like heavenly father knew something i didn't know. i have truly grown to love event planning. i have learned so much and done a ton of research and really feel like it is a great job for me. 

but....

last summer i felt like something was missing. i decided to take the time and really focus on what i love and what i want to do with my life. something i thought i had figured out when i was 19...ha! after a lot of thinking, prayer and exploring interior design kept coming back to me.

for a long time i couldn't admit this. i couldn't tell spence. for some reason i've felt like i couldn't be interested in interior design. i was the one that did political science. i am an event planner. i can't be something else. but it kept nagging at me. i found that i am happiest when i am designing homes. thanks to the world of pinterest i think we all kinda have that but i really do find joy in this. i decided that some people like cooking, i don't really find a ton of joy in that. some people love clothing and outfits, i like clothes but don't love putting together outfits. some people are big on hair and makeup, yeah not me. but design, thats where i get excited.

i found that every new place i went into i would start redesigning it. i would think "if i lived here what would i change...".  honestly this has been a blast to do in some of the chicago apt's i've gone into. 

i finally told spence my dreams. and honestly he wasn't surprised. he was excited for me. so we decided to look into options. i did a bunch of research and found a great masters program in chicago. we have talked about this and planned for this for months now. one day i would feel great about my decision. the next not so much.

last semester i started my application process. but i couldn't finish it. i finally decided it was time. so i went to an open house at the school and began the process all over again. again i couldn't finish it. it just didn't feel right.

after a lot of prayer i have decided to not apply for the master program here in chicago. honestly this has been heartbreaking for me. for some reason i feel like i don't have a legitimate reason to pursue interior design without a masters degree. i know this may seem funny but it's how i've felt. 

a couple of weeks ago i posted a picture on instagram. it wasn't anything special. honestly i was showing off all the sun in our family room. but never the less i got an overwhelming response on our apt. it made me so excited. i couldn't believe others thought our place looked so great. yes, i had spent a lot of time, energy and research to put our little place together. but i didn't think it was anything special. 

it may seem funny but that little instrgram picture changed my outlook. i realized that even though i don't have a masters in interior design, and i don't have a plan for one as of right now, i do have some talent in that area. i have a creative mind and i choose to use it by designing spaces. 

i found that i am happiest reading a design book or looking through design blogs. i get most excited about decorating places and spaces. when i'm sad i'd rather go buy something new for my place than eat chocolate. 

so i've decided to pursue interior design. i'm starting by becoming self taught. i am soaking up design blogs and books. reading the basics and teaching myself. i may not know all the technical stuff or have the fancy computer program knowledge but i'm taking it one step at a time. 

i'll post things that i've learned and my fav. inspirations from time to time. it's made me really excited. something new and exciting. and the mr. is 100% on board which is awesome. he gets excited as i learn new design techniques and such. 

so thank you instragram world for pushing me to do something i've always wanted to do. who knew a little picture would be the push i needed. i'm working on our bedroom redo right now. it's a work in progress but it's coming along. i'll post pictures soon! 

the instragram picture. i'll post more of our family room soon.