close my eyes

sometimes i close my eyes and imagine what the past 3 years would be like if everything went as i planned. the mr. and i living in a cute vintage apartment in california, close enough to the beach to have picnics each night. living our dream life with a baby (or two) in tow. this little life seemed so perfect, so simple, and so what i wanted. 

when i open my eyes i'm back in chicago. living a life completely different than i could have planned or even imagined. i never pictured us in chicago. i never imagined we'd struggle so long to have a baby. i never thought we'd have to move just one year into our med school adventure. now that we're here life has changed even more. right now we are living out of boxes. eating whatever we can find in our mostly empty fridge and dealing with no internet. 

but last night as i cuddled up to my mr i realized that life may not be as i planned. maybe not even close. the past 3 years have been one big adventure. but it's one adventure i would want to repeat over and over again. 

i may not know what our next 3 years in chicago old. in all honesty i don't know what the rest of today holds. but i have an incredible man who loves me completely. a beautiful new apartment that our awesome friends helped us move into. wonderful family who are always there for me. and most important the love of my heavenly father. that love i see in all the small areas of my life. 

i may have had a plan for my little family. a plan that would have been great. but i'm living a plan that is even better. i'm so grateful that someone else is in charge. so for now i'm going to enjoy our boxes and hectic life. and just live for today. live simply and enjoy my beautiful, unplanned, life!