oh the january blues

oh gosh where has this month gone? at the same time though...could it just be february already? january is pretty much my least favorite month. the good ol' january blues have set in and that is why i've stopped taking pictures. i feel like nothing fun is happening. but that isn't true. so to try and break these blues here is my list of events from january. our attempt at enjoying this awful month....

deep dish pizza picnics at home on the family room floor

enjoying new episodes of our favorite shows (white collar, castle, modern family etc)

bachelor nights with my girls. oh juan pablo...you make for great entertainment

deep cleaning our room and office

making oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. nothing like homemade cookies

lunch dates with the girlfriends

finding creative ways to bundle up an still look cute (not working out so well)

getting our car stuck (the mrs.) and laughing while getting it out 4 days later

booking flights to sunny san diego for a girls trip next month

starting new books. rent collector...amazing already

the mr.'s magic show at school...and he even got a "wow" from a few people (he's that good)

watching our little nephew pound down his first birthday cake

catching up with friends we've missed while we were in utah

working out together at the most beautiful gym we've ever been to

started our 2013 scrapbook and love remembering our great memories

board study for the mr. not so exciting but exciting we're finally to this point (3 months left)

having dance parties to mixes i made years ago 

shopping adventures with girl friends

fun new nail polish color on my nails. somehow this just makes everything happier

getting back to journal writing and goal keeping

game nights with friends where we spend the majority of the time just laughing

loving all our windows that let in a lot of sun...it helps on those cold days

hopefully finishing my quilt and curtains

face timing family...always fun for us! yay for technology

planning our little weekend getaway next week (so excited!)

foot rubs from the mr. he is the best

so even though it is FREEZING here and this winter has been 100x worse than last years we're still trying to make the most of january. spence is busy busy with school and board prep so i've been spending more time with girlfriends. but man am i grateful for the most incredible girlfriends around. i couldn't survive without them. thinking back on everything we've done this month and things to come make me realize that maybe january isn't so bad.....just maybe ;-)

another little med school update

a little while ago i did a "little med school update". since we are now almost done with year 2 i thought i'd give another update.

how is school going to spence?: northwestern does things a little different. spence started his second year of med school the end of july (too early if you ask me). he is what they call an m2. he has been doing much of the same as last year but this time with more research and clinical experiences. he is working on his second to last section. interestingly for us it is all about reproduction and infertility. it's now super helpful that he is understanding a little bit of our situation.  anyway back to school. he has one last section (after repro) and then he has one month to study for boards. he will take his boards in early april. 

he has been doing so incredible! i am so proud of my mr and all his hard work. life has picked up this year with school, church and other stuff but he has managed it perfectly. he loves learning and has learned so much. a few months ago i picked up spence after a test. he was on the phone talking to his good friend dan. as they were discussing the test and different problems i was blown away with all he knew. i could understand about 10% of the words they were saying. seriously that boy of mine is smart. 

he's gearing up for boards and is super nervous. his board score will help determine what residency program he gets into. i for one am not worried about spence and boards. if the last two years have given us any clues it's that he will do just fine. it's very obvious that heavenly father wants him here, in med school and to do well. he is working hard but we've seen blessings beyond what we could have imagined. 

the next four months are going to be a bit more intense than the last two years. he will be doing his normal study but add in hours of board study. we've got a good study plan in place. it's like we're back taking the mcat! 

do you ever see each other?: just like last year we've been able to be together surprisingly more than expected. unfortunately for us this is going to change real soon. board study and then 3rd year are supposed to be killer. so we're preparing for things. we're trying to take advantage of the time we have together. i just got promoted (more on that later) and with that comes a lot of new learning so we have plans to study together.

we still go to the temple every other friday night. this is such a special treat for us. i love just chatting and catching up on the 1 hour or so drive there. then on the way home we get to share our experiences and talk about our future, our blessings and basically how much we love our little life. it's my most favorite time with my husband. 

sundays are crazy with both of our callings (more so of the mr's) but we typically spend the evenings together, playing games, catching up with family and just being together. 

has spence chosen a specialty?: everybody's favorite question! mine too! he hasn't really decided on any one thing. i think we've both come to the conclusion that he would like (and be great) doing a lot of different things. we're buying books and gearing up for 3rd year. this is the year he'll start rotations and ultimately have to decide what he wants to specialize in. 

spence is always asking my opinion and discussing options with me. even though it's his future, his job, his life he wants my opinion. he keeps saying it's an us decision. i sure love that! i'm just excited to see what happens as he starts going through rotations. i have my suspicions on what he'll choose but i'll keep it to myself until he knows ;-) 

are we still liking chicago?: YES! i have grown so in love with chicago it's not even funny. honestly, at this point if it was up to me i think we'd stay and raise our family out here. yep, thats how much i like chicago. we moved to another fun neighborhood in july. its a bit further north than our old place and further from school and work but we love it. it's really family friendly, cleaner and newer. we have friends who live just right down the street. great restaurants right by and the most amazing ice cream place around the corner. 

this winter has been worse than last year but i've got some great boots and a warm coat. we've made some of the best friends and get together when them often. i have a great group of girl friends and we get together every other week to chat, watch movies, do crafts and just hang out. 

we also just got gym passes to the gym right around the corner. now if only it would open we'd be good to go ;-) 

i do miss family and i miss the sun during the winter  months. but all in all we love chicago. i think i love it a bit more than my mr. at this point we aren't really thinking of staying for residency. spence wants to move some place closer to family. and if we're moving i'd say somewhere warmer! 

how am i doing?: super great! life just seems to get busier and busier! early summer i was told my company might open an office in chicago. after a few months of back and forth they finally opened our chicago office in september. i was able to play a big role in getting everything up and running. i now work downtown with the most incredible view of the city! i wasn't sure i was going to like it at first but now i love working downtown. i don't love the commute but it's nice waking up each morning and forcing myself to get up and get ready. it's also nice being able to leave the office and really leave the office. 

i also just got promoted to an associate at leavitt partners! it's a big change but i'm so excited for it. i never expected to be working for so long but things have worked out as they should. heavenly father truly has a plan for me! i'm not sure of all the steps but it's been fun figuring it out as we go along. 

this new job will be more work and it requires that i step up my game. i'm excited for the challenge and the chance to learn and grow more. it's good the mr. will be busy studying so i can just join him!

so thats about that. we are loving life and still very much enjoying this med school journey. we have a busy couple of months with the boards ahead of us but it's fun at the same time!

so here is to finishing our second year of med school!

2013....a year in review!

2013 has been an interesting year for us. full of ups and downs. i'm guessing much like everybody else's. i've always been a big fan of the year in review but never thought about taking the time to do one. this year i decided why not. so here is my attempt at our 2013. 

january:

january was a rough start. i had my second miscarriage early on. my beautiful mother flew out to be with us during this hard week.
we also welcomed our first nephew, owen, the first part of january.
nicole and i bundled up to go to the field museum. we had a blast exploring the place for free.
i blogged about breaking my habit of bitting my nails. one year later i'm still going strong.
i needed a good refresh so we spent lots of time at ikea (with our car...yaya) getting our place all fresh and new.
gabby and i spent way too much money shopping. just what i needed.
since spence and i moved during our 2nd anniversary we decided to celebrate on our 2.5 anniversary. we had dinner at one of the fanciest places downtown. seriously a great night.
we finished off the month with a great date night downtown.

february:

february was a better start than january. i gladly welcomed in a new month full of color and love.
we were finally able to start working at the temple (thank you for bringing out the car mr.) and started our first friday night temple date nights this month. oh what a blessing this has been.
i posted a bit about my struggle with infertility and recurrent miscarriage. i felt like i had a little bit of a breakthrough this month.
i flew home for a work trip and was able to meet owen for the first time.
i also designed some valentines for my mom.  and hosted a little family valentines dinner while in utah.
we celebrated valentines day (also the anniversary of when we decided to get married) with heart shaped deep dish picnic on the floor and watched a movie. my favorite way to celebrate.
after talking to some dr's and doing some research we decided to go the almond milk route.  this lasted a couple of months before we found out it wasn't helping. for some reason i want to try it again.
we started insanity. the mr. lasted a couple of months and still does it here and there. i lasted a month.
i got a promotion at work and tried to get used to our daily busy life.
mom and i finished off the month with the most incredible trip to san diego. we shopped, ate out, watched movies, went to the beach, laughed and just enjoyed being together. i sure love my mom.

march:

march was a busy month. i did a little med school update for our family and friends.
for christmas the b. family gave us incredible tickets to the jazz vs. bulls game. we finally got to go to the game.
the cold was getting to us so we decided to do weekly adventures. it really helped fight the winter blues.
we had a pie day for pi day with some ward friends. i tried out our new mini pie maker...yum.
i started lots of new projects and did some more decorating in our apartment. it finally started feeling like home.
we celebrated nicoles birthday and started weekly bachelor nights with the girls.
i wrote more about miscarriage and found healing through writing.
i had two work trips, one to oklahoma where i got stranded for an extra day. then the next week i was off to dc. by the end i was sick of traveling.
i admitted my love of interior design and began looking into master programs again. after a lot of prayer and fasting we decided it wasn't the best move. i still want to do something with interior design sometime in my life.
we spent spring break in detroit with spencer's aunt and uncle. it was such a fun vacation!
easter was celebrated with new outfits and dinner with good friends!

april:

this was a fun month for the two of us. we had lots of dates just the two of us.
sadly we said goodbye to my pup. i still miss willey and want to call his name every time we're home.
i officially started my first quilt. i hate to admit i still need to hand stitch the binding but i'm almost there.
one of our weekly adventures was a saturday morning donut run. we fell madly in love with glazed and infused that we go back monthly.
another date night was spent at the macy's flower show. it wasn't as big as we expected but still so much fun.
spence got called into the bishopric in our ward. i was called to the relief society in march so we had to say goodbye to our little sunbeams. we still love those little kiddos.
i fell more madly in love with my mr. this month. something about love and spring just go hand in hand. or maybe because i have such a great man. here, here, and here.
i posted a recipe for my easy andies mint cookies. it is my most viewed post on the blog ever. haha love it!
gabby and i went to a carly rae jeppson concert. we were the oldest ones there without kids but still had a blast.
we finished the month off by welcoming spring to chicago....finally

may:

may was a great month and things started to finally warm up.
mom and dad b. and liz and owen came to visit us. we had a great time having them all there with us.
spence spoiled me on mothers day. it was just what this girl needed.
i didn't blog too much because it was a busy month for the two of us. i had some work trips and spence was busy finishing out his first year of med school.
we found out we had to move and started the apartment hunting process. luckily we found an incredible place right before we headed to utah for our "summer break".
we celebrated surviving our first year of medical school with a date night to navy pier.
after packing our bags (and part of our apartment) we headed to utah for 4 weeks. we were so excited and ready to be with family.

june:

i did another med school update to finish off our first year.
we spent most of the month in utah with family. we took family pictures, went to weddings, played with friends, spent time with our nieces and nephew and even did some wake boarding. here, here, here , here, here and here
we flew home in time to go see the mormon tabernacle choir preform in chicago (incredible).
the end of june meant started the packing and moving process. we spent time in our new neighborhood trying to get a feel for things.
lydia came to visit and we went to the art museum, farmers market and out to eat way too many times.
i hosted the relief society bunco night in my apartment. my last time hosting people in our first chicago home.

july:

this month was a crazy one for us! it started with moving the first week or so. hence the not blogging much this month.
spence was busy working on research this month and preparing to start school again.
we celebrated the 4th of july with homemade kneaders breakfast, a beach trip, a big bbq and finished it off with fireworks and great friends!
we attempted to go to the beach with dan and nicole but after finding out we had to pay we had a fun picnic in the park instead!
sadly i had another miscarriage. i didn't blog much about this one. it felt different for some reason.
my family spent a week in the bahamas. it was such a needed break from life. spence and i got the first few days to ourselves before the family came in. paradise! more here and here
we celebrated our 3rd anniversary! it was simple with a nice steak dinner at home, swapping favorite memories and cuddling up to a movie! the perfect way to celebrate if you ask me.
the month ended with spence starting back at school for year two of med school.

august:

the moth started with some exciting news....my company was opening an office in chicago!
we feel more in love with chicago as we got to know our new neighborhood and enjoyed fun date nights.
the summer was full of street fairs and events. we hit up our local fair (edgefest) with good friends.
we celebrated our one year anniversary in chicago.
we hosted a little goodbye party for some friends who were leaving us at the end of the summer. it was nice to have a bigger place to host all our friends.
the mr. turned 27...ahh old man! we had a blast celebrating with friends and date nights just the two of us.
nicole and i watched the air and water show from the beach. one of these years our husbands will be able to watch with us.
we had a great ward bbq at the park. we love our ward and feel so blessed to be a part of it.
dan and nicole joined us for a bears game. it was pre season (cheaper tickets) but still so much fun.
after finally getting back into the swing of school life we finished off the month with a date night in wicker park.

september:

i didn't blog much at all. ugh! i was busy with work getting our new office all set up and running smoothly.
i honestly can't remember what we did for labor day...haha! i bet the mr. studied and i worked.
we finally went to our first cubs game with gabby and jordan. i can't believe it took us so long but we loved it.
i spent a week in utah. the first part mom and i went down to st. george. it was a much needed getaway. the rest was spent working like crazy.
the byu vs. utah game was this month and we had some friends over to watch the game. it was a bit of a blow-out (sorry byu) but dan and i enjoyed cheering on our utes.
spence's parents came into town and we loved it! they spoiled us like crazy. we explored our neighborhood more, went out to eat and just enjoyed having family in town.

october:

it seems the last half of the year flew by so fast i couldn't keep up with picture or blogging!
conference weekend was full of quilting, resting, enjoying and eating!
my parents came in for a week and we loved having visitors! my dad fixed up our apartment and spoiled us. we went out to eat and explored our city! i love having my parents in town. it made home feel more like home
the mr. had a busy month with school, research and tests. he was studying most nights.
we finally got the barfuss family pictures back from the summer. i loved how they turned out.
i played a bit of life catch up on the blog and updated our family on what we were up to.
we surprised spence's family and flew him out with me for a quick weekend trip. we were having too much fun to take pictures.
i stayed in utah for our big work event. so glad that is over!
we celebrated halloween with a ward trunk or treat.

november: 

i started out the month hosting a baby shower for a dear friend in chicago. i love baby showers!
we spent lots of time face timing family as november is the month of birthdays in my family.
the mr. spoiled me for my 25th birthday. my favorite memory was playing games with 20 or so of our great friends and realizing how blessed we are.
i finished off the year of work events with a quick trip to dc.
our friends matt and megs came to chicago for a byu football game. we were able to catch up with them for a bit during church.
for thanksgiving we flew out to utah and spent the week in st george with spencers family.

december:

december has gone by just way too fast! i haven't blogged like at all.
spence has been so busy with school. he is preparing to finish up year two and has started studying for boards.
we did minimal decorating for christmas seeing as we were flying to utah so early this year.
we did try and win wicked tickets every day for a couple of weeks. as hard as we tried we never made it...oh well!
we had some game nights with friends and have tried to stay warm.
chicago surprised us this year with lots of snow. last year we didn't see snow until after christmas.
we flew home for the break and have enjoyed just being with family and friends.
i did post our christmas card!

this year has been a great one! we've had some hard times that have taught us a lot about faith and trusting in our heavenly father. we have also had some great times and remind us how much we are loved and blessed by our savior and heavenly father. through it all i've had my mr. beside me. i couldn't have asked for a better partner in life. 

we're loving our little life just the two of us. though it may not be what we have expected 2013 has turned out to be a great year! heres to 2014. i have a feeling it's going to be even better than 2013!!!

a utah game

oh man i really need to play catch up on my blog. when i went to load my pictures from the halloween party i found pictures from august that i have forgotten about...i'll get to those. today i wanted to post pictures from our utah-byu football game party. 

poor med school boys had a test the monday after the game. game day was spent studying for them. luckily we talked them into finishing early to come watch the game with their wives. we had a blast watching the game and stuffing ourselves with typical football watching food. dan and i really enjoyed the game :-) 

people say a house divided can't stand....i say a house divided is more entertaining! 

and here is us. i was trying to cover the y on the mr.'s shirt i the second photo. he caught me just as we were talking the picture. it's an awkward picture but i just had to post it! 

oh the simple life

loving my walk home from work recently

i've been so bad at blogging lately. mostly because we're just living our daily life and its not super exciting. but i figured why not enjoy the daily grind. and blog about. because lets be honest i'm going to force my kids to read this one day and i want them to know we lived a normal life :-)

life has been pretty simple lately. we of course have had a lot going on. but i'm coming to realize that "a lot going on" is our everyday. work for me is great, super busy, stressful, but great. i just got back from a quick trip to utah for our big annual meeting. luckily everything went perfect (well, for the most part). school for the mr is great, super busy, stressful, but great. 

we wake up early each morning. the mr. before me. because i still can't make myself a morning person. he kisses me goodbye and heads for school. i soon follow a few mins later. we spend all day downtown. sometimes meeting for lunch, which i love. sometimes we get done at the same time. so we head home together. and sometimes we pick up donuts on our way home. and i get to lay my head on his shoulder on the train. we get home, find something for dinner. the mr. goes back to studying and i keep myself busy planning baby showers, working on partly finished crafts, practicing the harp (which i so need to do more of), and catching up on shows. 

at about 9:30 we call it quits and finish the night just the two of us. catching up on all our stories, cuddling while watching a show, planning out our weeks and just being in love. 

our life here in chicago has finally caught some rhythm. it's not consistent, it has it's ups and downs, it's fasts and slows. but it's ours. and we love it. we're enjoying the day to day. i forget to clean and do laundry most of the time. we take turns doing the dishes and putting away clothes. our apartment is usually a mess and my email inbox is always full. but we're happy and loving our daily adventures. 

spence is still loving school. he's starting to study for his boards, which take place in april. i love asking him what he wants to do. it's constantly changing and i'm always surprised by what he loves and gets excited about. he still hasn't officially decided what he wants to specialize in...but we're figuring it out. 

our apartment is pretty much put together. we are in love with our new place. it's perfect for us. i'll show pictures soon. first i have to finish our curtains, thanksgiving decorations and clean up...like i said i'm always behind on cleaning. 

thats about it. i don't have any beautiful vacations to blog about or big weekend getaways. i'm just enjoying the daily life. and it's simple and sometimes i worry not blog worthy. but hey, this is our life blog, and this is our life! so why not. 

so i'm off to cuddle up next to the mr while he finishes studying for the day. maybe i'll catch up on all the blacklist i've been missing out on. or finish my book that i am so annoyed with (why do authors always mess up the last book in the series). all while listening to the rain. 

oh chicago in the fall...i love you. 

close my eyes

sometimes i close my eyes and imagine what the past 3 years would be like if everything went as i planned. the mr. and i living in a cute vintage apartment in california, close enough to the beach to have picnics each night. living our dream life with a baby (or two) in tow. this little life seemed so perfect, so simple, and so what i wanted. 

when i open my eyes i'm back in chicago. living a life completely different than i could have planned or even imagined. i never pictured us in chicago. i never imagined we'd struggle so long to have a baby. i never thought we'd have to move just one year into our med school adventure. now that we're here life has changed even more. right now we are living out of boxes. eating whatever we can find in our mostly empty fridge and dealing with no internet. 

but last night as i cuddled up to my mr i realized that life may not be as i planned. maybe not even close. the past 3 years have been one big adventure. but it's one adventure i would want to repeat over and over again. 

i may not know what our next 3 years in chicago old. in all honesty i don't know what the rest of today holds. but i have an incredible man who loves me completely. a beautiful new apartment that our awesome friends helped us move into. wonderful family who are always there for me. and most important the love of my heavenly father. that love i see in all the small areas of my life. 

i may have had a plan for my little family. a plan that would have been great. but i'm living a plan that is even better. i'm so grateful that someone else is in charge. so for now i'm going to enjoy our boxes and hectic life. and just live for today. live simply and enjoy my beautiful, unplanned, life! 

year one down......

(so excited to finally be on a plane together....boo traveling alone for work)

the mr. finally finished his first year of medical school. i still can't believe we've made it this far. it may seem funny, considering we still have 3 more years, but i really felt like we've made it. we survived. honestly i think we did much more than just survive. 

at this time last year we were still unsure about northwestern. we (okay mostly the mrs) was praying hard for a california school. as it turns out the lord had another plan for us. it took me a bit to get used to it but looking back i'm so happy things turned out as they did. 

so updated....

the mr. finished his first year of medical school. coming from his very proud wife he did incredible. he not only finished but truly excelled. i am one proud wife. i am even more excited about the fact that he still likes it. i think it's safe to say my mr. will for sure be a dr. one day. he loves what he is learning. 

i survived as well. i probably didn't excel as much as my cute dr. but i did okay. i have come to love life as a med student wife. and even more come to love chicago. didn't know that was possible but it happened. i've learned so much about my life, my cute husband, the medical world and life in general. i love how much i've learned in this past year. i know the mr. has learned a bit more but i like to think i've come a long way as well.

i was so worried about how medical school would be. i'll be honest, there were some hard days. mostly the first couple of months. that was for sure an adjustment period. but once we finally figured out our new life, school, studying and working from home.....we hit our stride. we've tried really hard to make a life for ourselves in chicago. it's home now and we love our little life. we've come to love city living and really enjoy the daily life of living in chicago. 

as of right now spence still has no idea what he wants to do. his problem...we likes too many things. it's been fun for me watching him learn about new specialties and realize he would be great at so many of them. we have ruled out just a couple of specialities. let's hope in the next couple of years we'll be able to rule more out. for now it's exciting (for both of us) to just keep learning and figuring out life. 

the day after spence's last test we hopped on a plane and headed to utah. we have 3 weeks here until we head back for the mr's summer research. it's been so nice being "home" with family. we've been taking advantage of having all our love ones close. i have also enjoyed being spoiled by my mom. sometimes i just need to be taken care of. my family sure knows how to take care of us. 

so i may be a bit mia the next couple of weeks. i'm enjoying family, friends and kneaders french toast. 

year one down....bring on m2 baby!!!! 

sometimes i go back

i woke up this morning and for a split second i was taken back. some how the sounds of the morning, my comfy bed, and the light in my room took me back a few summers. back to provo in 2008. it may seem funny. that wasn't too long ago. but it felt like a completely different life. for just a few mins i closed my eyes and pretended i was back there. it was a beautiful and exciting time of life for me. i had just finished my freshman year of collage. i was doing my dream job. flirty it up with way too many boys and enjoying girls nights with the besties. i was just 19. i was living the dream. 

life was simple. or at least it's easy to say that now. i knew what i was all about. i was living my dream and having the time of my life. my biggest worry was what date i was going to go on that weekend or what new tv series was i going to get caught up on. i was back and forth between home and provo. i had the best of both worlds. being with my family and friends that i had grown up with as well and spending time with my new friends and my new found college life. 

for those few mins i wanted to go back. so badly i wanted to be back in provo. to wake up and all i was worried about was what cute headband i was going to wear so that the "one boy" would notice. i closed my eyes, took a deep breath and finally got out of bed. 

..................

today i'm in chicago. i'm now 24 and living a life so completely different than i did when i was 19. but thats not a bad thing. even though it's easy to think that summer of 2008 was amazing and easy, being 19 wasn't awesome. i was so unsure about myself (though i wouldn't have admitted that then). i didn't know what i wanted to do with my life. life was ever changing. 

as i walked into my family room i looked around. this may not have been the life i planned out for myself. i may have never expected to move to chicago. or start a job and end up working from home. i never expected we would struggle with infertility and be just us for a lot longer than planned. no i didn't plan this. it was planned for me. 

but i think thats what makes it all the more beautiful. i struggle. just like everybody else. at times my struggles seem hard and unnecessary. i look around and see the beautiful lives of those around me and i question. but then i am reminded. i am reminded about the beauty in my own life. 

my sweet husband who is far more than i deserve. my incredible job that allows me to grow and expand my thinking. let alone allows me to work far away in chicago. my new city of chicago full of excitement and constant things to do. great distractions from the hard things in life. my friends both new and old who love me for me. my family who even though live far away still make me smile everyday. and of course my heavenly father. who loves me. and i have never been able to forget that. 

life may be harder now, as a 24 year old than it was as a 19 year old. but i can honestly say it's more beautiful. so if this is how life goes....the older you get the harder things get but the more beautiful it becomes as well....bring it on life. i think i'm ready. 

i'm ready to wake up in chicago. 

this was my profile picture from the summer of '08. i thought it was fitting for this post.

yeah these two....

these two. oh gosh!

just editing all the pictures from when mom, dad, liz and baby o came to play with us in chicago. i'll post more soon. for now i can't stop looking at these two cute boys.

he's going to be a great dad one day!

mothers day 2013

mothers day this year was absolutely wonderful. honestly though i wasn't expecting it to be that way. a few days before mothers day i was feeling bad. i threw myself a little pity party and cried to the mr. all around me cute moms were posting pictures of their little ones (or prego bellies) and their early mothers day gifts. last years mothers day was rough. really rough. so i was preparing myself for another one just like it.

by saturday morning though i had a change of mind. i hate to admit how long it took me but i finally realized what mothers day was really about. mothers. it wasn't all about me. it was a day to remember our beautiful mothers and other wonderful women in our lives. i spent the morning thinking about all the incredible women in my life. my mom, my mother in law, my sisters and dear friends. the most beautiful spirit came over me and i began to think about motherhood and all that it includes.

sunday was even better. cute spence got me the most beautiful flowers and vase. he made me breakfast and told me how wonderful i am. he listed off the ways that i am already a great mom. he really made my morning special. at church i was overcome with love for all the wonderful mothers in my ward. all the great sisters who have reached out to me and loved me. i got the most incredible notes and texts from loving friends. who were thinking about me.

honestly i was really humbled by all the love that surrounded me. it took all i had not to cry. not because i was sad. but because i was overcome with happiness. i kept thinking about my beautiful mother. who is the most incredible person. she is my greatest example and best friend. i thought of all the good she has taught me. and i smiled.

i am so grateful to a loving heavenly father for blessing me with an incredible mom. words cannot describe her goodness and my love for her. i am also so grateful for my wonderful mother in law. i look up to her strength and faith and love her dearly!

i am grateful for all the love that was sent my way on sunday. it truly opened my eyes to the beautiful angel women heavenly father has put in my life. i am so blessed.

i am grateful for mothers day. a day to reflect on the beautiful blessing of womanhood. because within all of us is a mother. no matter what.

and for mothers day this year, i was able to reflect on that. and that is why mothers day was absolutely wonderful.

macy's chicago flower show 2013

our "tourist" outing last week was a quick visit to the macy's flower show. i love the chicago downtown macy's. there is something magical about it. definitely a go see when in chi town. the flower show was a tad bit smaller than we expected but amazing non the less. i loved the mid eastern elements and it made me feel like i was back in jeru walking through the old city. the weather was a perfect gift for us as well. after making some much needed returns and a quick dinner we called it a night. i love playing tourist in our own "home town".  

our little ones

for the past 2 almost 3 years the mr. and i have taught primary together. when we moved to chicago we were excited to get called again into the primary. a couple of weeks ago we had our last sunday with our sunbeams. i may have cried when we got home. i love them that much. as you can see we enjoyed our selves with some pictures during "class". maybe it is more like play time but we love it. 

 we were missing a few others from class but even with four we had our hands full....haha!!!

 if only i would post the 15 other pictures in this sequence....hilarious!!!

 taking time to look at the fish! we had a rule that you could only look for 1 min. that was a rough rule.

 this little stud. oh gosh! i'm going to miss him

 coloring would last about .5 seconds

gotta love the bouncy ball. the mr. is incredible with kids. honestly he was a lot better teacher than i was. the little ones just loved him and always wanted to sit by him.

we're going to miss our little ones but are excited for the next adventure. let's just hope we can talk their parents into letting us babysit so they won't forget their favorite teachers!

a little med school update

i get asked this question a lot....
"how is med school going?".

so i decided to give our family and friends a little update on our life in chicago (aka med school life).

let me just start by saying it has been AMAZING. in our short 8 months doing this whole med school thing we've both grown so much. individually and as a family. we love chicago and are really just loving life.

(this photo was taken at the very beginning of our little med school journey 8 months ago)

do you ever see each other?: surprisingly more than we both expected. spence has been super great about managing his time and work. but, he always puts me first. which means the world to me. he usually wakes up early and heads to school. classes most of the morning and afternoon. then stays on campus until about 6. in that time he can usually get all of his studying done so we can have our nights together. friday nights we work at the temple. it's one of my favorite nights. we enjoy an hour long drive there, just the two of us. eat sandwiches in the car and just enjoy not thinking about work or school.

weekends are nice, spence will study saturday mornings while i clean and such and then we have date night saturday night. sundays are just us days. and i love it that way.

so all in all we do see each other a bit. my work schedule is crazy so it matches up. test weeks are different. spence studies till about 10pm each night and all day on saturdays. but i get to hang out with my girl friends so i'm not all alone.

is spence liking school?: i ask him this all the time. haha i worry he won't love it and then we're paying for something he doesn't love. but good thing he really does like school. he loves learning new things. he is always coming home to tell me about a new disease he learned about. one involved microwave popcorn and so now spence gets mad at me when i make some (which is about once a week). for the most part he is really liking school.

northwestern just started a new curriculum that has been interesting. they wanted to get their students in clinical settings starting year 1. this has been a good thing and a bad thing. spence loves working with his dr. in his clinic weekly but it does take away from study time. there are days where he is just wall to wall and then has the stress of studying. this part he doesn't love. it really is a more stressed non-stop lifestyle we are living. not ideal but we're working through it.

does spence know what he wants to go into?: nope, not yet. he has a few ideas and front runners but for the most part he is keeping an open mind. i love when he comes home after learning aobut a new speciailty. some really interest him while others don't. it's fun to see what he gets excited about. most recently they studied the lung system. a few specialties interested him in that area (don't ask me what they are called...i don't do medical talk). he is still interested in orthopedic surgery as well. ear, nose, and throat is on that list as well. it's fun having so many options.

he is doing research with a radiologist which is really cool. he doesn't love just pure radiology but interventional radiology interests him. either way the dr. he is doing research with is really great and told him he can help in any residency program he wants to go into. good news for us!

do we like chicago?: yes and no. for the most part we love it. and it's even better with a car (finally drove ours out during christmas break). living in a big city is really fun. there is always something fun to do. we are making our "chicago adventure book" and slowly working through different things. i hope we can make it through the whole book before we move (thats how many awesome things there are). we love living close to the lake. it is beautiful and a nice break from the tall buildings of city life. we live outside of downtown in a cute little neighborhood that we love. some fun restaurants and close to wrigley field. in the summer we can hear the cheer of the crowd! we also live about 6 blocks from a target. a dream for me.

we love going downtown and window shopping. we'll usually get some dinner at one of our favorite places and just enjoy the busy city. i love these nights. it's so fun to be downtown with everyone and be able to call this place home. it is nice to jump on the train and head home to a little quieter neighborhood!

but, we don't love the weather. i knew this would be the case when we were looking into california and arizona schools but it's the truth. hopefully it will start warming up and we'll be outside more. parking is also a pain in the butt. having a car is nice but we tend to not leave the house after 8pm in fear we won't find a spot when we get back. friday nights after the temple are the worse. we usually have to park a few blocks up which is actually a really good parking spot considering.

lack of good chain restaurants. this may sound funny to most people but we aren't really foodies. i love a good new place just like the next person but sometimes i just want to go eat someplace that is fairly cheap and i know what i'm getting. i want a zupas or olive garden. i guess chicagoians are more foodie than we are. but...we have found a few great places to eat that are our favorites. we're slowly getting better at trying new places.

how is our ward?: i love this question because i LOVE our ward. when we were first looking into moving to chicago we wanted to live in the downtown ward boundaries. after searching and searching we found our home. it wasn't in the downtown ward boundaries but we felt so strongly we needed to live here. so we figured it would be great no matter what. boy was i surprised. i felt so loved and welcomed our first sunday. we talk about moving but our rule is that we can't move out of our ward.

we have made the best of friends that are more like family to us. it's a small ward and fairly young (though not as young as the downtown ward). we have some great young families that we look up to as wonderful examples and who have the most hilarious kids. being in primary was our favorite. we were both called as primary teachers when we first moved it. we first taught the senior primary (yes the whole senior primary....3 kids) and then were moved to the sunbeam class (6 hilarious kids. see the age difference in our ward???). a few weeks ago i was called into the relief society presidency and have to say goodbye to our little sunbeams, which makes me really sad. spence is still helping out in the primary until they can call someone else. honestly i think he is better in there than i am. he is so great with the kids and they adore him.

how am i doing?: i am doing great. my job is keeping me super busy which is nice. i am so grateful for my job, those i work with and in all honesty my income. it is so nice being able to pay for our living expenses and some of spence's schooling. student loans help with the rest of his tuition but thats about it.

i have a great group of girlfriends that really help me out. we get together almost weekly and i love it. i love seeing spence finally living his dream. i do miss him during test weeks and when i travel but we're working on that. i have grown to love our "little" city and love exploring. we have big plans for this summer thats for sure.


so there you have it. 8 months in and we are doing great. northwestern was never our #1 choice but looking back it really should have been. chicago has been great to us. the school is incredible and is perfect for spence. our friends are our lifesavers and truly our chicago family. we are so lucky to be here, in chicago, with spence going to an incredible med school.

we can't believe we're almost through the first year. so strange to think this time last year we had no idea where we would be. now chicago is our home!

life's daily messes

sometimes life is just a mess. luckily for me it's more literally a mess than figuratively (but that doesn't me my life is a mess sometimes figuratively speaking)

this past month has been a whirlwind of change. change at work. change at church. change at home and just a change in me. luckily it has been all good change. but it did kinda turn our lives upside down. 

i  got a promotion at work (yay) which leads to more travel (boo) and more stress. i just got back from yet another work trip. i love to travel but traveling for work isn't the same. 

so here i sit. trying to reorganize my life a little bit at a time. i'm taking time to adjust to the new job. the new calling and a new way of living. it's going okay except for one small fact...

my house is a mess. and i mean not just "oh shoes aren't put away" i'm talking things out EVERYWHERE. currently piles of both clean and dirty laundry are taking over my bedroom floor. i'll spare you those pictures. 

but i decided its okay. it's okay if life gets away from me sometimes. my office is a mess. but it's okay. i'm still here. i'm still working. i'm still loving my job. and doing the things i need to be. 

i feel like i'm always comparing myself to others in thinking "their place is always perfect", or "i bet they don't have piles of laundry on the floor". but maybe they do. and that would be okay. because i sure do. 

so this is my view currently. mess and all. and i don't care. because sometimes life happens. and it's okay

my desk. my little happy flower that is still going strong (spence thinks i can't keep any flowers alive). nail polish so i can paint my nails during calls. it is a huge stress reliever for me. i have had a bottle of polish on my desk for weeks now...what does that tell you?

my cart full of projects that i have started weeks ago. still unfinished. plus a cute love note from my mr. that makes me smile. maybe if i keep looking at these projects they'll finish themselves (i wish) // my junk chair. obviously i have some cleaning/organizing to do. plus my cute "congrats on the promotion" bag from fossil that i am in so in love with. can't wait to have a good excuse to use it.

haha love this one. our closets, food storage and remnents of yet another project. the plan is to clean out the closet so our food storage can go in there. that was the plan back in november. haha maybe that will be my summer project.

so there you have it. just one room in our tiny home. it's a mess. but i love it. and one day i'll clean it. but for now i'm taking it one day at a time. doing one job. i'm making dinner tonight and maybe doing some laundry.

maybe i'll get back to blogging as well.
maybe when my room is clean :-)

when it rains it pours....or so we've been told

when it rains it pours. 

the mr. and i are dealing with some huge life changes right now aka pouring rain!

but don't worry. they are all good changes. and honestly we're excited

just crazy how one moment your life is going one direction and then the next...wham

completely changed. 

it's good, we're excited. and honestly can't wait to see what the lord has in store for us

so while we are working through how the rest of our life is going to look...

a few phone pictures because right now i'm too busy too upload the good pictures from my camera.

new fabric! i couldn't wait to open it so i took it with me on our way to the temple. so excited to start sewing again. these babies are going to make one super cute quilt (or so i hope) // new "art" for our bedroom wall. i made the heart frame for spence for valentines day. loved how it turned out. 

super awkward picture of me (i was whitening my teeth...) showing off our small clean laundry pile and new decor for the bedroom // close-up of our new things. so in love with this vase and candle holder. our bedroom is finally coming together. it's my new favorite place in the house.

finally got the whole chicken parmesan thing down. but sometimes you just have to "red-neck it" as spence likes to call it and eat on the floor. // super blurry picture of us...but somehow i still love it.

and last but not least our stinkin' awesome niece. we got to facetime into a family party last night (best thing ever) and got this little show. don't worry, she has tights on. her skirt was in the way of her dancing so of course it had to come off. man i miss being away from our little ones. but so glad we could "hang out" with our nieces and adorable nephew for at least a little bit. oh and according to mya i'm her favorite aunt!



tomorrow it's off to cali for the mrs. i'm going to miss my mr. but am so excited to have some time on the beach. if anything it will help me wrap my mind around all of our life changes!

oh the joys of growing older.

dear monday

dear monday: good thing you are a sunny day. i wish i was out playing like the rest of the world but the mr. and i don't have the day off. boo. dear sun lamp: you are my best friend. each morning we hang out and you make me happy. thank you! dear daily goals notebook: i have loved writing in you each day. it's been a great thing for me to have a small daily goal to work on. dear essie nail polish: where did my obsession with you come from? on bad days i remember a new color i want is just around the corner at walgreens. maybe i should move. dear wednesday: you cannot come soon enough. i can't wait to soak up the sun. dear san diego: speaking of wednesday, i'll be there to visit you then. make sure you provide lots of sun for this girl and her mom. dear weekend: we had a great run you and i. so sad it's over. maybe you could last longer next time. dear sunbeams at church: you are the highlight to our week. we love remembering the cute things you do and say. thanks for making us smile and laugh. but next time lets avoid the chair throwing and spit-up. dear insanity: you are kicking my butt but oh do i love you. i've started to crave my daily workouts. let's see how far we can go today shall we?

happy monday blog world!

oh hey it's me

so i saw these lists going around on instagram. i hate texting and typing on my phone so thanks to those who tagged me but there was no way i was going to stress myself out with typing on instagram. so...i decided it would be fun to do it here, on my bloggy blog.

1. i have never had a bloody nose. when i would get hit in the face i would think "this is it, my first bloody nose" but nope. nothing. still feel a bit left out.

2. it is physically impossible for me to cross both my eyes. when i try just one goes in. it's actually pretty freaky looking. i used to scare my brothers with this talent. just ask me if you want to see it in person ;-)

3. i still think i would be 100% perfect to play a disney channel character. i look like i'm 18 and act that way sometimes. once a disney recruiter contacted me....two days before i left for jerusalem. maybe i could have been a star. looks like i choose the holy land instead. good choice me

4. i hate scary movies. but, i love scary stories. sometimes we'll watch a scary movie and i can't finish it. i go out of the room and make spence finish it. after it's over i make him tell me the whole story line with as much detail as possible. call me crazy but i guess when i imagine scary things they aren't as scary as movie people make them.

5. i graduated with a degree in political science. work for a health intelligence company. am a corporate event planner. and now want to go back to school. turns out i am just figuring out what i want to do with my life at the age of 24. and i thought changing from math to political science was bad. turns out not everyone knows what their life's direction is at 21.

today i am grateful for costco

oh what a costco trip can do! i posted a little bit about it here....

now i'm going to go finish dinner, clean the kitchen, and then settle in with my new crochet project. i may be slightly addicted now...good thing because the mr. has been crazy busy with homework. 

oh our wonderful life!