looking at 2012

sometimes i close my eyes and i'm there

it is one moment that i can recreate no mater how long it's been

i can feel the dessert summer sun on my skin

i can hear the noises from the city below

i can see the old city so clearly

it's like i'm back there

standing right outside the byu jeruslaem center

i sometimes wonder how is it that i can remember jerusalem so perfectly

maybe it's because experiences like that

ones that change your life

unexpected blessings

are the ones that imprint themselves on our hearts

jerusalem changed me

i wasn't expecting it

honestly i didn't even want to go

i think maybe i was scared of what greatness was waiting for me

life in jerusalem was beautiful

it was there i truly learned who i was

i grew to truly understand my relationship with my savior

i lived where he lived

and he taught me as he was taught by our father

sometimes i ache to return

to feel the sun on my skin

to walk the paths i once walked

the paths our savior once walked

i long to take my sweet husband there

to show him the sights that i grew to love

to share some of my experiences with him

to tell him how i knew life was going to be okay

how i became me

maybe it's those experiences that we aren't expecting that teach us the most

life it jerusalem wasn't perfect

i struggled being away from home

i longed for something i couldn't have

i ached for something i didn't know i was missing

so many nights i spent in tears, on my knees pleading for understanding

it was those nights

the warm night air rushing over me

that i knew

i was loved, i was his daughter, i was strong

i didn't get the answers i was expecting

but i was loved

i think it was these experiences that made jerusalem so beautiful

maybe one day i'll look back to this past year

maybe i'll long to be back

to again feel the beauty in unexpected experiences 

just like in jerusalem i grew

i spent countless times in tears on my knees pleading to my father

i also felt his love for me

i am loved, i am his daughter, i am strong

this past year was beautiful

unexpected blessings

it was the year i truly learned who i was

i grew to better understand my relationship with my savior

it will forever be an imprint on my heart

sometimes i close my eyes and i'm there